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[personal profile] candylovingangel
Title: His Personal Hell
Author: [livejournal.com profile] candylovinangel 
Rating: PG 
Spoilers: Seen 5.19 through 6.11? You're good.
Word Count: 2,735
Note: This is written for [livejournal.com profile] kijikun based on her comment fic prompt over at [livejournal.com profile] team_free_love  's comment fic meme
Summary: Gabriel's somehow back from the dead, but he notices something different than before...

First there was darkness….and then a bright, comforting light came to him…He was tired and weary…he didn’t know what it was really, didn’t comprehend it, he just knew he needed it… He latched onto it and it hummed with energy and came to him and it seemed almost hesitant for a moment and then there was warmth in his chest as he had to push it in. It was like an electric current had run through him. Then he was bombarded by images and screams and it was overwhelming! He hadn’t expected this! What he’d allowed in was broken and he didn’t exactly know what it was even as his eyes flew open and he sat up in the middle of some field, though it was a field of lilies…

Gabriel blinked and stood up and yelped when he collapsed and that’s when he felt it, the emotions that seemed to explode through him, the true honest to God emotions that he’d never felt before as an angel. There was…surprise yeah defiantly surprise and alarm…Then for some reason he felt betrayed and abandoned, and that led to him wanting to cry…What the hell? Gabriel shook his head and tried to ignore all of this and he got up again and went towards the road, but not before he picked one of the lilies. They were one of his favorite flowers and they’d always brought a joy to him that he would never be able to understand. He was in for a long walk to the road…
---
There was something different. That much Sam noticed when he sat up. He hadn’t been sleeping. He never slept since he came back from Hell, and he and Dean had found it had been due to his lack of a soul. Sam wasn’t sure what had just happened but he felt like his whole body was going numb and something hot seemed to collect in his chest and then seemed to explode and Sam couldn’t help the scream that tore from his throat, and there was a crash from the bathroom as Dean came running out, a towel around his waist as he looked to his brother in alarm as the younger Winchester thrashed on the bed and his yells were clearly painful.

A white light seemed to illuminate him from within and it was going towards his head fast and it hauntingly reminded Dean of when Anna got her Grace back. Sam’s eyes then were lit by that white light and then Dean ducked as a harsh blue light came from Sam. He heard heavy panting from Sam and that’s when Dean got back up and then looked to Sam who was looking at his hands like they belonged to a stranger.
Sam looked to Dean with wide eyes and he…he found he could actually feel something now. Not as strongly as when he had his soul, but it was still something…And he…he felt like he had a storm inside him and it also felt so…pure he realized even as Dean looked at him curiously.

“Do you…feel anything Sammy?” Dean asked and Sam nodded with a grin, “I feel like I could dance around and…and…be a retard and have real fun!” He said, excited, genuinely excited.

“Dude, you got your soul back? How?” Dean asked in shock.

“I don’t know! But I don’t think it’s my soul I think it’s something else but I can definitely feel things again, I can feel the love and protectiveness I’ve always had for you again,” He said with a happy laugh. Man he could eat a mountain of candy too. For some reason he was starved! Then it was there, a mountain of various candy and Sam blinked, Dean let out a yelp and looked around.

“I know! Gabriel did it!” He said, clapping his hands, knowing only the former trickster would pile candy in the room like this, even as Sam got up and went over to the candy, ignoring Dean and he snagged a few pieces. So okay he’d exaggerated the mountainload of candy but he still wanted a bowl’s worth, he thought vaguely to himself and suddenly the candy shrunk to a bowl’s worth and Sam blinked.

“Gabriel! Stop it!” Dean yelled and Sam frowned. It really was odd that the archangel hadn’t made an appearance, but it was clear he was reading Sam’s mind as he brought the bowl of candy over to the bed and started eating it.

“Sam! Earth to Sam!” Dean said sharply and Sam was startled out of his thoughts and looked to him.

“Dude, since when did you start eating candy?” He asked with a frown and Sam shrugged as he popped some skittles in his mouth.

“Since now I guess, I don’t know what Gabriel did but the candy appeared right as I started wanting some.

“He must have done something to you, you never eat Candy, not even on Halloween…” Dean said bit Sam was already finished with the skittles and now for some reason he wanted honey…Anything sweet right now he wanted…
Dean then snapped his fingers and facepalmed, looking to Sam.

“Wait, you started wanting it after you practically exploded like Anna did when she got her grace back…Maybe you somehow got powers from an angel instead of a soul. That’s even better!” Dean said with a grin and Sam rolled his eyes.

“Oh! I want a hooker, give me a hooker!” Dean said with a smirk and Sam threw him an irritated look.

“Go get a hooker on your own you lazy ass,” He said as he started eating a Snickers and let out a happy sound. “Dean…so help me I’m going to stab you if you don’t shut up,” Dean let out a sigh, he hadn’t had a hooker In weeks so of course he’d complain.

“Dude, you’re no fun at all. Maybe it really was Gabriel and he’s too much of a coward to show his face!” Dean yelled at the ceiling and Sam rolled his eyes in amusement and he got up and grabbed his laptop and started it up and started on the research for their current case…
--
He’d managed to hitch hike back to the nearest town, which quite frankly was embarrassing. An Archangel of the lord having to ride in cars…It was agonizingly slow and he hated it. And now that he was in some town in some state he was lonely as he wandered around looking for some place to eat and then sleep. He found some diner and he went inside and feeling all too human as he sat down and ordered. Apparently it is ten am so he ordered pancakes with maple syrup.

He ate it happily, loving the taste of it. After it was done he paid for the meal and got out of the restaurant and ran his hand through his hair with a sigh. He was worried now, truly worried as he wondered what had happened to his powers, and instantly he was thinking of several different options. Maybe whoever brought him back didn’t want him to have them. Maybe they were just blocked from him for some reason, or maybe, just maybe his father wanted him to be human…forever. He shuddered at the thought as he sat down on a bench to rest his legs for a while as a chilly breeze went through the air and he zipped up the jacket, shivering like crazy as his hair was blown about. Because he had nothing else to do, he decided to poke at the thing that was inside him now and it reacted weirdly, wrapping itself around Gabriel consciousness. It felt so familiar, yet he could tell it was broken.

Gabriel…? Help me… Gabriel started horribly when Sam’s voice came from the orb that was inside him in place of his grace. It was when he made this discovery when Sam’s soul clung desperately to his consciousness and it was like it was trying to get comfort, but Gabriel didn’t know how to give it without his grace…
“Um…of course I’ll help you…when I can figure out how..” Gabriel muttered softly. Happiness sparked and seemed to flow through him and Gabriel realized Sam’s soul had been reacting to his emotions as much as it had his own.
He looked up and started walking around again, looking for a hotel.

“Why me?” He asked softly as noticed a black car pass by and then it came to a jerking stop as Sam’s soul said, I don’t know.

“Gabriel?” Came a voice Gabriel recognized and he looked back to see Dean standing outside the black car that was the impala, and the happiness and warmth that flared through his being was Sam’s AND his.
“Hey there, Deano,” He says with a warm smile and Dean goes over to him and looks him over for a moment and with a frown.

“You look…exhausted, come on, get in the car, I’ll take you back to the hotel room. Maybe Sam will make you a hooker…He refuses to with me…” He muttered and Gabriel blinked.

“How would he be able to make hookers?” He asked in confusion, Dean shrugged.

“We actually thought all that candy appearing was you but well, I don’t know something doesn’t feel right around you right now..” Dean muttered as Gabriel got in and buckled up.

“Gee thanks Sherlock. Any other observations you want to make?” He growled bitterly, Sam’s broken soul was inside him taking shelter, and he could sense the discomfort in it and he only wanted to help but…well he had to sleep as well, maybe then…? He looked at Dean who seemed all too happy with Gabriel’s silence even as they pulled into a hotel parkinglot. Dean got out and Gabriel followed him to the door and opened it, Gabriel following Dean in tentatively…
--
Sam looked up when the door opened.
“That was fast, Dean,” He said as he saw his brother come in. For some reason he’d started to see lights coming from his brother that he supposed resembled his soul just before he’d left. The person that he saw after…

“Gabriel…” He breathed, and he saw Gabriel come in and smile at him. He saw the same kind of light coming from Gabriel that came from Dean except…it was a bit broken even as Gabriel looked around the room and went over to the bed Sam was on, kicked off his shoes and promptly got comfy, pulled Sam close and went to sleep. Sam blinked at that and looked to Dean who shrugged. Though Sam noticed that Gabriel’s light of well himself he supposed had gotten so much brighter when he got closer to Sam and Sam frowned. That…That didn’t seem right that Gabriel was sleeping… He looked up to Dean.

“Dean…I think he’s human…” He said quietly and Dean nodded.

“I noticed it from the jump, he looks too tired and worn out to be an angel still…something more than different about how…silent he is. Kinda like you when you’re brooding…” Dean muttered as he sat on his bed.

“Dean, what if it’s his grace that I got? After all I…feel more like Gabriel than myself right now…You have no idea how hard I’ve been fighting to not pull pranks on you,” Sam said as he carded a hand through Gabriel’s hair, and the former angel smiled and got closer to Sam. The buzzing energy in him got to a higher level when Gabriel was near and he supposed maybe…maybe this was all really Gabriel’s grace? After all if he is human something had to have happened to his power.
--
Gabriel was pretty sure he wasn’t going to end up dreaming his own dreams, not with Sam’s soul hiding out in him. So when he saw the cage and Saw Sam getting wailed on by Michael and Lucifer, being their object of torture, even with his body up top…It was painful for Gabriel to see, and he knew it was even more painful for Sam, who’d had to live through it.

“Sam! Snap out of it!” He called through the dream, hoping that the younger Winchester would hear him even as the dream flickered and suddenly Gabriel found himself being pulled into a too close hug and Sam was shaking violently. Gabriel hugged him back and watched as the surroundings obeyed his thoughts and turned into a more comfortable setting, where there are no more screams, no more Michael and Lucifer. It’s quiet and comfortable, his apartment from years ago… He sat down on the black couch with Sam and hushed him softly , but no matter what he did, Sam wasn’t responding to it, so what he did, he hoped would snap Sam out of it. He tilted Sam’s head up to face him. He saw the pained tears coming from his eyes as Gabriel planted a long soft kiss on Sam’s lips, pulling the young man to him, rubbing his back as Sam froze for a moment before he started kissing back and the Winchester pushed him into the couch cushions and they started making out then and there, and when they started stripping, Gabriel knew that he was getting through to Sam…and maybe this…for lack of a better word, love he felt was real…
--
Dean…he’s been out for two days…” Sam said in worry as they looked to Gabriel, who was still fast asleep on the covers, and Sam bit his lip, putting a hand to Gabriel’s forehead. Sam had been practicing use of the powers he’d been given and so when he wanted a cold cloth it appeared with no more than a thought and he put it to Gabriel’s hot forehead. The former angel had caught something apparently on his journey to them. He was hot and flushed and yet…Yet that light inside him had grown stronger if anything, Sam noticed. Before he’d noticed it seemed to be in pieces, but now he noticed that light was becoming whole again, Gabriel seeming oddly peaceful instead of panicked and flushed. No, this wasn’t a nightmare the angel was trapped in… Sam put his hand to Gabriel’s shoulder and the former archangel responded, one hand grabbing it, and he opened his eyes halfway and pulling Sam closer.

“You have something of mine,” He whispers, “and I…I have something of yours,” He said faintly, with a small smile, “I think it’s ready to go back to you,” He says softly as he cards a hand through Sam’s hair before pressing a hand to his chest and an electric current seemed to pass between then and Sam’s soul slowly came out of Gabriel and started to go back into Sam as Gabriel go his grace back.

“Shit,” He snarled as he started to glow from within as his power, his grace readjusted to Gabriel’s true form. “Close your eyes!” He yelled and Dean shielded his eyes, as did Sam, whose soul had gone back into his body at the same moment and Sam gave a gasp of pain and surprise that Gabriel would pay attention to …but later ever as the light of his grace exploded from him as it recombined with his true form and Gabriel was panting hard as he looked to Sam.

“Sam…” He gasped out and Sam looked up to Gabriel, “You…okay?” he asked Sam, seeing confusion in those hazel eyes as he looked around to Dean and then Gabriel.

“Yeah…I just…what the hell?” He asked and Dean seconded that.

“Yeah, Gabriel, how the hell did you get Sam’s soul and he get your grace?” Dean asked frowning in the confusion.

“I don’t know…but I’m guessing I was charged to take care of his soul…help piece it back together, and well I think my grace was given to Sam so he could feel something while I was doing this, and so I wouldn’t have to go looking far for it when I’d finished...” He muttered as Sam looked at him quietly. Gabriel smiled at him and snapped his fingers, sending Dean elsewhere.

“Let me give you your welcome back present,” He said softly as he pulled Sam in for a kiss and soon what would be quite a interesting night…All he cared for was that Sam was whole again, and that was just how the archangel liked him.

Date: 2011-01-02 10:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kijikun.livejournal.com
<3 thank you

Date: 2011-01-03 12:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] candylovinangel.livejournal.com
No problem :) It was fun to play around with this and well, I always did want to write something where Gabe pieces Sam's soul back together never imagined it like this til your prompt ^_^

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